What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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How did young Austin get home while walking on the side of the street ? He didnt. He was hit by a car.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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flavin's head

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What kind of gun cant shoot bullets Hand guns

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself He saw his his gas bill

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My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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What do you call a white person? Caucasian

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Q: if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how many pounds of oranges can you fit in a grapegruit. A: None, because there is no bones in ice cream

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What is Godzilla's favorite sport? Nothing, Godzilla is a fictional character.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

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What's the coolest place to be in the solar system? Uranus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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