Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Life is confusing. Really how so? He just walked up to me five minutes ago with a pair of socks taped on both sides of his face saying humanity is screwed and ran off after peeing on my carpet.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did all the boys come to my yard? Because of My milkshakes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are Red, Violets are not blue they are violet, nothing rhymes with this, I give up

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the Mexican take $20, because he found it on the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I found a new way to be condescending... Thats when you talk down to people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

On her day off, a fully clothed stripper walks into a bar she's never been to before. The regulars turn their heads to see who has just walked in, then turn back to their own conversations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two straight men walk into a gay bar. They quickly realize their mistake and cross the street to the tavern where they enjoy a beer and some pretzels.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

My grandpa died in the holocaust. How? He had gas.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

flavin's head

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops