oh hey.

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what did the dog say when he walked in to a bar? Bark

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virgenatie but he got it back

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. Who pooped in my garden?

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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you that read wrong no you typed it wring my mind just rearranged the words to make grammatical sense

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Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

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What do you call a room full of jewish women with yeast infections? The waiting room of a gynecologists office, potentially in some sort of Jewish district

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had an amusement park in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Why were you at a funeral? Someone died.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the tree fall over? The koala forgot to let go.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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So Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station....

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

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There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

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What did the korean guy order at the deli? A sandwich

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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