What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the pitcher say to the batter who hit the ball very far? Wow, you hit that ball very far.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

-what does burglars afraid of? -cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why does Larry the Cable Guy get his own T.V. show??? Why can't I have one of my own??? .......ah...forgot....I'm a minority...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between a black man and a white man? The black man eats chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom's so fat... she probably needs to go on some sort of diet to avoid a serious heart condition and inevetible death

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops