Lebron James got a new iPhone, but he has to keep it on vibrate because he doesn't have any rings.

Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

Q:If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is here to hear it, will it make a noise A:That Philosopher probably had a lot of herbal tea in the morning

Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

What's the difference between a bucket of shit and a black guy? -the bucket.

Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

Why didn't the black man finish his lunch? He wasn't hungry

How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

Did you hear about the three black guys who got run over by a car? No? Neither did Ray Charles!

when a friend comes over and says: hey, do you have a bathroom??? NO!!! I shit in my yard!!!!!

What did Tarzan say to the elephant?... "Hi elephant." A few weeks later, the elephant had grown a mustache and gotten a pair of sunglasses. What did Tarzan say to him then?... Nothing, he didn't recognize him.

Hickory Dickory Dock, your mother is a whore

Why didn't he finish his

Hey, did you guys hear what happened the Steve Jobs? He died.

Whats Yellow And Cant Swim A Bulldozer.

Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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