My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Q: Why did the mom try to wake up a sleeping bag? A: Because it's morning and her kid is curled up inside fast asleep

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Whats worse than finding 2 worms in your apple? 2 Holocausts.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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What do you call a man who beats his adopted, black children? A terrible person.

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Q: How many burgers did little Johnny eat? A: Involuntary erections.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Immigration Laws

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A horse walks into a bar, and orders a drink. The bartender is amazed at first, but then remembers that he just did acid.

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did you stub your toe?

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew. The pizza doesn't scream in the fire

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A guy walks into a bar. He loses conciseness because of the force of the metal bar hitting his skull.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream? Because seeing as a bus was heading straight toward her, she quickly decided to sacrifice her frozen treat and dodge the oncoming vehicle in order to save her life.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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i have no freinds on facebook.... overated

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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