What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

What if I told you.....potatoe

Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

-What did George Clooney say to Jennifer Lawrence? -"Hi!"

What is invisible and smells like rabbits? Bunny farts.

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

What do you call it when a black man kills an Asian man? Murder.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

Good job, son.

Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

Gordon Brown smiles.

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Postman. But I wasn't expecting a parcel. Is it for 37? No, Sorry, its for 35.

Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

Q: Why did Susan fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Q: Why did no one help her up? A: She had no friends Q: why was she at the play ground? A: Her parents were fighting again Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susan

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

How did the black kid apply for college? The Common App. Duhh

Q: Why didnt jim win the race ? A: Because he swalowed his tounge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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