Anti-Jokes are the bomb .org

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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This is sparta No this is patrick

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seek beauty

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

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What did the fat man do? He fell over...

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Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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What's clear on the outside and grey on the inside? An elephant in a plastic bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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