A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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What's your blood type? Red.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Roses are red, Violets are violet.

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I have read the terms and conditions

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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So a cat a dog are in a field.The dog then proceeds to eat the cat and take a nap

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"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

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What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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