Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Top 10 Signs You Might Be Lonely and in Need of a Friend 10. Your closest friend has a skull tattooed on his knuckles and goes by the nickname bruiser. 9. You are becoming a little too fond of chess and pocket protectors. 8. You parents complain that your friends are a "Pack of wild chickens"-and it's not a figure of speech. 7. You follow your mailman around in hopes of a good conversation. 6. A cop pulls you over for speeding, and you add him to your Chistmas card list. 5. Your equation for a snappy party = TV remote + bean dip. 4. You forward e-mail jokes to yourself regularly. 3. You six best friends are Monica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey, Ross, and Rachel. 2. You've named all of your roaches. 1. Phone solicitors hang up on you!

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What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a rapist

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

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What´s Green and turns Red at your Finger Tips? Frog in a Blender.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Look at the next joke.

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If people are freaking out about this Kony guy I cant wiat to see the look on their faces when they check in my crawl space.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why did every one care when i killed my self they didn't

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, Gee, I wish I could partake in even the first two lines of this stanza, but alas, I have colourblindness.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

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What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops