Today if my birthday, and I got given the Anti Joke Book! Happiness!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man and his dog walk into the park, the man grabs a ball and chucks it for the dog. The dog can not chase after the ball because he has no legs and bites his owners leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you have sex with 9 giraffes? you don't because that's weird

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did your mom leave your dad because he was a drunk :l

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the plane crash? Because, it's pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A B C D E F G.... Gummy bears are chasing me 1 is red, 1 is blue 1 is tryin to steal my shoe now i'm running for my life cuase the red 1 has a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

my wife out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +4

They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did little Jimmy survive the 5 story fall? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Two hunters are in the woods. One of them clutches his chest, falls to the ground, and loses consciousness. In a panic, the other hunter calls 911 and tells the operator that his friend might be dead of a heart attack. The operator says "Before we send a coroner instead of an ambulance, first make sure he's dead." The hunter says "Alright." There is a pause and then BLAM! "Okay," says the hunter, "now what?" The operator follows standard procedures to keep the hunter on the phone, lucid and calm. 45 minutes later, police reach the scene, arrest the hunter and begin a months-long investigation. Forensics determines that the dead hunter was likely alive prior to being shot in the face at point-blank range. The defendant is charged with first-degree murder and receives a 30-year sentence. On the 9th year of his sentence, he is stabbed in the chest 6 times by an initiate in a rival prison gang and dies the next day. He was 53.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops