What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Q: How did Helen Keller cross the street? A: She walked.

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What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get me ball back.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Golgo12 here, I can see how some people consider you insane Nero, glad to know point zero is the starting ground of your elysum, that should show them how a modern society should be like. You got six years left to live? That sucks man sorry to hear that. Ur real name is Nero? Axel Knight sounds so much more... You.

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Why a man without hands and without legs want to stay in a barrel? He actually doesn't, but is unable to get out of it.

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What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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A dyslexic blind man

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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What's similar between the Alabama Crimson Tide and a maggot? They've both been feeding off of a dead Bear for 30 years...

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one................ standing on a pile of dead babies.

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Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a truck? No.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the hipster's coffee burn his tongue? He drank it before it was cool.

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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