why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a chair in the middle of the road? A danger to drivers.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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what's the difference between northerners and southerners? southerners live to the south of birmingham, and they don,t stink of urine.

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Why did the man yell at his wall? Because it jumped out and scared him when he walked past

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

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What did the little boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's jewish

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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What's up? Your time.

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How do you keep a black man from hanging around your tree? You cut the rope.

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what kind of sex did ethan have? webcam sex

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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How did Billy tip the cow? He didn't, cows are animals and that would be wrong.

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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Knock knock.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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test test

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What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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