Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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What do you call someone without legs or arms laying at your front door? Steve

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Oh, And one of them has a penis.

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Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because the white man murdered him.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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