Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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What do you say to the child with bruises on his arms? Stop hitting yourself.

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What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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What do u call a ginger man with no ears? What ever the hell u want Because he's deaf

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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If a Cheetah and Usain bolt raced in the Olympics who would win? Obviously Usain hes black and cheetahs can't perform in the olympics

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who would win in a gang battle? WEST COAST SWAG

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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A man dies from a cat attack. he goes up to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter asks him, " how did you die sir?" The man doesn't reply so Peter says, "cat got your tongue?" "No," he says, "cat got my throat!"

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot for Arabian Air, idiot. What were you thinking?

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What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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What did the bacon say to Sam's eggs? Why are you green?

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A bartender walks into a bar. About 8 hours later, he goes home.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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