Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Knock knock. Its open.

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Q: How do you break into your own house? A:You don't....thats ridiculous(:

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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Man goes into a bar and orders 7 shots, the bartender says "Long day, huh?", the Man says yeh then goes home and kills himself.

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Knock knock Go fuck yourself

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Knock, Knock! Go away!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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how do we call a person with no body nor nose? a dead guy

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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What's worse than a bee sting? A large number of things ranging from getting stung by two bees to falling off a cliff.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

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What has four legs and a tail? A table with a tail

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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