Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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how do you get a 1 armed moron out of a tree? you wave

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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When is a door not a door? When your house burns down.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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So God answered a paralyzed boy's prayer the other day...He said 'No'

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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