Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

Why did the Christian man dislike gays? Because Christianity views being gay as a sin, and as a follower of the religion he decided he did not like gays.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Sex! Sex Who? Sex with me. BOOM!

How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

How many candles did Johnny blow out on his birthday cake? The same number of candles which corresponds to his age.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

What did the cashier say to the blonde? That will be $5.39, would you like a receipt?

A man walks into a bar. He's just entered into the Twilight Zone.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I stole your wallet and used to buy a prostitute. I had a great time. What was the question again?

You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

Why did the fish but the house Because it wanted to eat the house

why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want first?" The man responds "Let's have the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance paid for everything." Shocked, the man asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments will be covered."

How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

The kid was riding a honda xr70r. He got hit by a non moving object and died.

Michael Brown

What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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