A deaf man walks into a bar. Someone yells, "FIRE!" and everyone evacuates. The deaf man does not hear him and dies horribly.

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What would happen if you put avocando, pineapple, sardines, peanut butter, brussel sprouts and milk into a blender and drank it. most probabley salmonala poisoning because the sardines were off.

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Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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What's large, black and can be found in Australia? A large black Australian man.

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Are you the only 10 I see? Because I'm blind.

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Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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