-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

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What’s the best part about knowing things no one else does? Nothing. I’m schizophrenic and can’t afford medication.

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a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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stfu Aodhan u and kevin are doin all the instigsating

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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Yo momma so fat her pancreas doesn't work anymore.

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When the world ends what would be the death toll It would be unknown since every one would be around to calculate it

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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