hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Yo momma's such a whore that she violates the sanctity of marriage by sleeping with men other than her husband.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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. HAHAHAHA I have control of you I don't enjoy that picture.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Why couldn't the mexican make a taco? He died.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he didn't have arms.

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Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

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It's a penguin that breathes by its asshole. One day, he sits down, and he dies.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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Michael Brown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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