There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Why didn't Jacob marry Bella from Twilight? You have to be real to marry someone

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put C where A is. :D

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There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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