Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

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Why are small clowns and baby's alike? They both dreadfully die when hit in the face with an axe!

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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Q: What do you call a Polish astronomer? A: Copernicus.

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why did the girl fall of the swing someone threw a refrigerator at her

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Who are you if you can rub 2 ice cubes to make fire? Chuck Norris

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Why was the Japanese man unable to see? Because it was extremely sunny outside and he had forgotten to wear sunglasses.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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Q: why are you gay A: because your physically attracted to the same sex

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops