What's white and moves at a glacial pace? A glacier.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you make an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her many times in the ear with a fork......Then finsih her off with a spoon. No knives those hurts

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What would you call Kenny Dalgleish if he was black? Mr Dalgleish in a formal setting, Kenny in an informal one.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

men's rights activists

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A child walked into the bar. He was promptly asked to leave because he was too young.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops