Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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Q - Why did the boy die? A - He had AIDS because his father raped him.

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Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

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What a vase and a cheeseburger have in common? It has it's price.

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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A nun, a jew, and a KKK member are all stuck together in a lifeboat. A large wave overturns the boat and they all drown.

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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i like pie

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "No."

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Wumbo

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When is a door not a door? When it is a cup.

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Why did the Booger cross the road? because He was getting picked on....

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What did the small baby faucet say to the daddy faucet? Nothing, they are inanimate objects and cannot talk.

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u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

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BUT HWY?

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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