Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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What's yellow and dangerous? China.

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A man walks into a bar. Inside he finds Hitler, his wife, and an angry badger. They are pleased to see him and they all relate to each other through their shared love of bocce ball.

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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So there is a white guy and a jewish guy walking, they find a penny on the ground who takes it? The white guy because he is in debt.

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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What's the difference between an orange? Mooses don't like to wear sweater-vests.

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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A guy walks into a bar, he has a few drinks than leaves.

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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It's funny, because she's twice his size!

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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a: How can you tell you are not pregnant? b: I don’t know. a: Like this: I’m not pregnant.

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Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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