Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Roses are red Violets are violet Don't know why people are saying they're blue

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Whats worse than being a 40 year old virgin? Being a 12 year old girl in Africa who gets raped everyday to feed her family.

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What is pink and fuzzy? Pink fuzz

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back in middle school, they were both friends. They hung out every day and always had the best fun. It wasn't until their baseball team made it to the junior championship. That was when seven started doping for better strength and endurance for the game. Sevens family and friends (Especially six,) Had started to notice a change in sevens behavior and he seemed more distant from any social relationships with others. Seven began to become angry and self centered and only seemed to be focused on the game. Seven found out that Six knew that he was doping and fought him and brutally injured Six. Seven was then found out by the coaches and was kicked off the team. Seven, knowing that he had ruined his whole life, Shot himself with his dads .38 Revolver.

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

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A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

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There is a 5 second long and extremely depressing video, most cant watch it for any longer than 6 seconds

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Pickles are powerful

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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what is green and smells bad? an orange dolphin that poops out rainbows.

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What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

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A guy with cancer walks into a bar... No one treated him any special way, it's not like he had I have cancer written on his forehead.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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How much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The Holocaust

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What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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