Doctor, doctor, I have a cavity! Go to the dentist.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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a little kid goes as candle for halloween, 69 girls blew him teenage boy goes as candle for halloween, all he got was burned

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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* Are you afraid of dinosaurs? * No, they're all dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn? It depends on how hard you throw them

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

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Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

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When my parents said that they chucked a flipper baby into the Atlantic ocean I assumed a baby seal, I later found out that happened to my disabled brother.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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What do you call a blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba? A blue penquin dipped in chocolate doing the samba!

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops