Knock knock Come in

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What did the fish say after he

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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What happens when you search andreas' mum in google? You are redirected to man porn

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What did the mexican say when two houses fell on him? Nothing. He was dead.

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Why did Billy stop playing baseball? He lost his legs to cancer. Poor Billy.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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Why did the kid drop his football? He had a heart attack

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Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

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What floats in the toilet and looks like a log? A log.

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What did the waffle say when the black guy started eating him? Nothing, because waffles are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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How do you know if elephants are watching a movie? If a Volkswagen Beetle is parked outside the movie house.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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Why did it rain happiness? The people who wrote the jokes above and below this one exploded.

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Q: What did the 6 year old cancer patient say he wanted to be when he was older? A: Doesn't matter he died

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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