A twelve year old play Minecraft. He never made any friends. What did you expect?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Malcolm Johnson from Zenith windows, I was wondering if I could speak to you for a while about some fantastic offers which we currently have on double glazed windows....

thumb_up thumb_down +3

this last joke was a correction to the other one

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fat kid walks into a school. RUN KIDS IT'S BOMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are crimson. Violets are purple. I don't understand why this poem is so popular.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call an arabic man who sells bombs for a living? A business man.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what was postman pat's name before he was a postman? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

(PC) What did the homosexual man say when accidently sat on a stick? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

pobody's nerfect

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Michael Jackson become white? He thought he saw a ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops