why did the women have to black eyes? obviously because her husband hit her because he wanted a sandwich and he slapped the bitch and told her to get in the kitchen!

Penis Gabriel - Go eat some ice cream! Boner McDaniels - No. Penis Gabriel - Ok.

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It tried. The chicken was run over by a distracted driver. The chicken turned out to be Farmer Brendan's prized egg hen who wandered away. The hen provided a large portion of Brendan's income and living. The farmer, deprived of his vital income source, was forced to sell his farm and live on the city streets.

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

why do firemen wear red suspenders. I dont know because they go with there hat.

A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

Whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings? whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 bee stings? No! The holicost Whats worse than the holicost? What? 3 Bee stings

man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

BOB:i feall like a hotdog JOE:u r what u eat BOB:no wonder your a d!(k JOE:f*** u

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

1d

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

It only takes one drink to get me drunk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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