so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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pee

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it

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I have an idea! You leave.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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A chink walks into a bar. She is spotted by the secret police and instantly deported. Vote UKIP

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

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Knock knock. Man: Who's there? Hooker: The hooker you called for. Man: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. Wife: Honey, who is it? Man: The hooker I called for, but you haven't left yet. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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Your momma's so fat she has diabetes.

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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Once upon a time, The end.

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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Terry has ebola

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What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck

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Hey! Have you ever heard of the Alzheimers joke?

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Why did the man go to Cantabria, Spain? Because he liked potatoes... jk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops