I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know? I'm not a chicken :/

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pleas help someone is in my house i think hes trying to kill me i'm not even joking.

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whats worse that finding your having sex with your long lost sister? having sex with your long lost brother

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are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Bill: Heydidyouknowlosersaywhat Donny: What? Bill: Loser

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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what did batman say to robin to tell him to get in the car? get in.

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Whats blue, green and red, and runs trough the strees each sunday? ...What? I have no idea, I was hoping you did.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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