ur mum

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Whats white? A fridge

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Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Yes.

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Why did the friendly not play outside? Because they were dead. Just like your dreams.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Why did Suzie fall off the Swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops