What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What is worse than getting a cold ? Finding a dead baby in your mailbox

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Who the f*** let out the chicken

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, your body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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Why shouldn't you download music? Various reasons.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops