Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

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Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well crap whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Why did the drunk man puke? Because he was drunk.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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Next season on teen moms, Justin Bieber tells her story.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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