What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +8

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

thumb_up thumb_down +8

KANE TUCKER HAS A CHODE THE SIZE OF HIS FINGER NAIL

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

thumb_up thumb_down +8

PENIS :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know. It depends how high the light is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

When one person has an imaginary friend, you call it being crazy. But when more than one person has the same imaginary friend, you call it religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens if you jump on barbed wire, but break your fall? You hurt your arm as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What do they call watermelons in Indiana A:watermelons

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops