So a baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -96

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +67

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Netball.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what did max say to shelby? I hate black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Two muffins are in an oven. They turn out delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A Horse walks into a bar. So the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The Horse replies "My jockey raped me".

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops