What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What do blondes do when they hurt themselves ? They say "Ow", just like anyone else.

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A woman is about to buy a house and is faced with a difficult decision. She must choose which house she'll buy the next day. During the night she thinks about it and the next morning she has made a rational decision. What house did she choose ? TRICK QUESTION - Women can't make rational decisions.

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Did you hear the one about the kinky dominatrix? No. Damn. I really wanted the details.

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A racist indian (from india) walks into a bar (in india). A catholic priest walks into the same bar. The bar says 'moo'. The bar is a shape-shifting cow.

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Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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Whats Red and smells like Blue Paint? Red Paint.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

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Sean Nuneviller look him up, he's cute.

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What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She's a women.

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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when two guys walk in somewhere late together you say. hay perv hay ert.

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Joey and Haley have sex; what does he say to her the next morning? Happy 6th birthday daughter.

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I'm funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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