When did the Chinese guy go to the dentist? At the correct time he had been allotted.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do u call fear of Chuck Norris? Logical

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why do we have a black president? Because the populace voted and thought him to be an overall better candidate than John McCain.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

thumb_up thumb_down +29

3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The economy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What makes the antijokes on this site funny? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why DIDN'T the skeleton cross the road? ..He didn't have any private parts

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the orange have to wear a tie to the party? Because Rodric the Pear suggested it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Orange. Weird, orange is my favorite color.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

you know what they say... hydrate or die

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops