Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she.

Your mama is so fat she is morbid obese.

how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

What's the number one killer in America? Death.

what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

Whats the differnce betwwen a Wheelbarrow and a sack of dead babies The wheelbarrow is not in my garage

What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Jesus wept.

"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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