Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

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You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

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What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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minorities

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What did the guard say to the... I was going to finish this anti-joke but I took an arrow to the knee.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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Why can't Sally ride her bike? Because Sally is eight months old and doesn't even understand what a bike is.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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How do you occupy a blonde for a day ? You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner. ... That or you strap a bomb to her, give her a list of twelve billion things to do, and tell her the bomb will explode if she doesn't do everything on the list.

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a man walks into a bar and dies

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why does the octopus have no friends? because they're anti social by nature

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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