Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? You said you'd never forget.

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What do stuffed animals and living animals have in common? There both living except the stuffed animal.

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19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Amblyopsidae, or blindfish, commonly found in caves where they are well adapted to life in the dark.

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What did hitler say when he spilt coffee all over himself Ow I am burnt

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

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Why did the man scream? He got his dick caught. In the zipper.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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A bear walks into a bar. The building is evacuated swiftly but several people are killed

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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Libraries.

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How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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