Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

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Why did the cockroach cross the road? Why do you ask?

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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What did the police officer say to the boy in the park? your parents were killed in a car accident.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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QUESTION: Why do black people do so poorly in school? ANSWER: Some statistics point to genetic disparities in intelligence between races, but others say it is due to more complicated social factors.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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Why did the motorcyclist die? I heard he was sat on by Chuck Norris.

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how do you get a cow in the fridge? Open the fridge, and insert. How do you get a kangaroo in the fridge? Take the cow out and insert What animal is not in the lion king? kangaroo --WHY hes still in the fridge

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Rub-a-dub-dub three men in a tub, and one was Sandusky.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in a refrigerated freight truck en-route to its destination.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops