A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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A mogwai walks into a bar. The bartender says "Sorry, we don't feed mogwais after midnight."

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the horrors of factory farming.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? The chicken decided go get cigarettes and then hang out at a bar. The chicken sitts next to horse, the horse says "Why the sad face?" The chicken justs sitts there, thinking about the insanity that he has caused. "I don't know, is my joke not getting old?" Replied the chicken.

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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Womens rights

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Two muffins are in an oven. They are then baked at 375 for about 30 minutes and then taken out to cool.

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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whats worse than getting beaten up by a bully? realizing your fly was down the whole time and getting beaten up by a bully

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What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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