How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

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How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

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Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

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The NBA lockout

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He had cancer.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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what do you call a black man flying a plane? a pilot you racist.

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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What's funner than a barrel of monkeys ? Not the Holocaust .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops