You're really messed up right now... elephants don't talk

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? R, but they are also fond of the C.

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What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate flowers and am making fun of them by messing up this originally beautiful poem about those repulsive manisfestations of pure evil.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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You are such a loner nothing even clings to you, not even plastic wrap!!

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I can see you under there. Under what?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartenders says, "why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because horses do not comprehend English. He then becomes startled by his surroundings and bolts out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A BABY seal walks into a club

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96

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

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A skeleton goes to a bar an orders a human flesh.

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A violent biker gang walks into a bar to have a few drinks, the bar tender says "I'm sorry we can not serve you here." They then proceed to beat the man violently.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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whats worse then getting robbed by a black man? -getting hit by a bus due to not having the needed currency to get a ride home

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You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face", the horse replies I have an extra 21st chromosome.

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How are a duck and a tri-cycle the same? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What did the genie say to the frog? Go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops