What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

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What's the difference between a duck A chair Vests have no sleeves

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Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

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Knock, knock Who's there? Who. Who who? ... Who?

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The NBA lockout

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Depending on whether you have permission to eat it, either stolen property, or a nice snack shared between friends.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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My wife has terminal cancer.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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Q: How did the blind girl on the tight rope die? A: She fell because she has Parkinsons

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are finally spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinical depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What is E.T. short for? He has small legs

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why did the mexican cross the road to get to the other country

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have multiple personality disorder, NO YOU DON'T!

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What did the baby get for his 1st birthday? Nothing, he was a Harlequin baby, therefore dying during the last stages of pregnancy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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