What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You might be redneck if you are... Indian

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do snowmen eat for lunch? Snowmen don't eat, they're inanimate balls of of solid precipitation with rocks for smiles and eyes and carrots for noses.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

if i'm white and you're white, then who took my car keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Everyday I'm.. Stepping on a beach. A roop a doo! Stepping on a Beach. do do do? do!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hi my name is Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Don't you hate the retarded smart people who think anti-jokes are all about really explaining but adding sarcasm? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: nobody knows, but the road was royally pissed off.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops