What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Whats the difference between a waffle and a pancake? One is made in a waffle iron. And the other is made on a pan.

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What's bad for your teeth? A brick

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what is pink and fluffly? pink fluff

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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I went to buy some camouflage shorst the other day but I couldn't find any.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why did Dave buy a playstation? Because he wanted one.

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Why did the murderer buy a lizard? He thought that they were cute.

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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Q: What happened to Michael Jackson yesterday? A: Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kiss my ass

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A man walks into a bar and says: "ouch!"

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Will you marry me? I'm an atheist. ,.

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

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What's the difference between a duck?

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops