How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your momma is so fat that she decided to begin an exercise program and eat healthy and she lost weight.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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Why was the hasidic so stupid? He wasn't. He died in the holocaust.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Knock Knock Who is there? *bang* The following story depicts the life and death of Bob:___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________then he opened the door and was shot in the face.

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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A priest and a rabbi walks into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says "is this some kind of joke?".

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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Why did Alfa Kurtoo change his name? Just say Alfa Kurtoo fast!

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Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Knock Meanwhile in the basement...an elderly man, who lives a lone and whose children lead their own lives and dont have much time for him, lies on the ground unable to move after having falling down the stairs. He has been there for 2 days. He is frightened and confused, he hears someone knocking and his hopes perk up, he tries to call but due to lack of water his mouths is too dry to do so. He sobs in frustration. Knock Knock [Silence] The old man cries, aware of his fate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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