Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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You wanna pop a bottle? I hope you are referring to bottles of water as I am underage and I refuse to partake in any said consumption of alcoholic beverages

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What comes after 69? 70

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Q: You and a thousand other people are suddenly bursting in flames at a park, there is a big barrel of water just a few steps away from you, what do you do in order to save the people that truly matter? A: Stop drop and roll, duh!

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you greet your great great grandmother born in 1738? Hey, what's up, hello.

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Laura Pratz... not having a strong urge to tweet everything that happens in her life.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Mets.

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Why do people like vacations? To get out of your family

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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i am a dino. RAWR.

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Bill is driving along the Interstate.All the sudden, a refrigerator falls off the truck in front of him.The fridge slams into Bill's car.He dies instantly.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 7 ate 9!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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you know whats funny?! nine eleven!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops