The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing. The ocean is inanimate and therefore incapable of speech.

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So a little girl walked into a bar... A concerned adult then told the bartender. The bartender's name was Jim. Jim then asked the girl if she knew her phone number. The little girl said nothing and the bar tender was perplexed at the petrified look on the girls face. Jim the bartender then called the police and explained the situation.Once the girl was brought back to the police station it was learned that she had been missing for three months in a nearby county. The police then return to the bar to find that the owner had multiple kidnapped little girls in a cage under the bar that only he and the kidnapped girls knew about before the cops and Jim the bartender discovered it. The police then arrested The owner of the bar. He stood trial and was senteced to death row, he remains there today.

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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A man spoke in a high-pitched voice. Another man said "Are you gay" He responded, "Why, yes"

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Once i tried to do math ! She wasn't getting wet so i stopped!

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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A lion, a tiger, and a bear walk down the side of the road. This is what I observed last week in a suburb of Columbus, Ohio.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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why was the the taxi cab driver having a bad day? because he wasnt making very much money, didnt get alot of customers, some of which were extremely rude, and his entire family just died.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

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j

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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Im a Tree... BARK BARK!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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