what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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What is it... Michael J Fox has a small one, modonna doesnt have one, Arnold Shwatznegger has a long one, the pope doesn't use his, and bill clinton uses his a lot. A last name

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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what is white on top and black on the bottom? society... ha ha

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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Roses are red violets are blue Timmy what are doing with that gun?! Bang....

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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What happened to the boat that sank? Everyone on it died

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feminine literature

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me ill kill u,

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops