Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do Kenyans do at night? Starve.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If Dwayne the Rock Johnson was short who would he look like? Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did the kid drop his ice cream cone? Ans. He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what happens when you wake up inception

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so fat that when she goes to the beach, she feels self-conscious in front of all the other beach-goers.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. One looks at the other and says, "Can you pass the soap?" The other penguin says, "What do i look like, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A unicorn is walking down the street and a man asks him: "Why so horny" The unicorn then slap the man upside the head because that was none of his business.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When does the baby talk When you remove ypur feet from its mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock. no one's home..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

nik nak paddy wack give the dog a breathalyzer test

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call 2 black men next to me. 2 Dead Men

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops