Past, Present and Future walk into a bar. It was tense...

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A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

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what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

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three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

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So a black guy walks into a bar, respectively pays his tab and walks out.

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A horse walked into a barn...

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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what happens when you wake up inception

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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What's worse than people repeating a joke about a handicapped child and voting down original, funny, anti-material? Knowing that millions of cubic decimetres of precious air and thousands of tonnes of food are being wasted every day to sustain them...

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Where you last put it.

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Your mother is so fat that she wears xxxL clothing

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? They may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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Your momma so fat she can eat 10 of your 300lb friends.

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YOLO

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? I did too, he worked hard for four years, partied in moderation, but graduated with a degree in chemical engineering and became very successful in the business world in order to support his wife and two children.

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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What did the English teacher write on a sheet of assignment criteria? The assignment criteria. Plus, she spelled "millennium" wrong.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops