Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf. That would be irresponsible/

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

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i like pie

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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- Why did the black man turn off the TV when he saw 2 guys kiss each other? - He was late to the gay-party around the corner.

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Why wasn't the woman in the kitchen? Because she was in the living room.

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Warenth Gibson. Warenth Gibson who? Warenth Gibson. What part of that don't you get?

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1.Knock Knock 2.Who's there? 1.Boo 2.Boo Wh- The second person realized that the first person was about to make him cry so he stabbed the first person. 2.Who's cryin now Son!

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What does an elephant and a red soda have in common? Neither collects stamps.

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why was the man itchy? because he had herpies

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knock knock. no one's home..

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What is the punchline of this joke? There isn't one.

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Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

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Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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I like turtoes.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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